How do you feel as the Sivarajan commission report is finally out?
I am happy that justice has been delivered. It was a long fight. But frankly, I did not expect this kind of a report as I knew the compulsion under which the commission was set up. I thought it would be a hogwash like many other commission reports. That the commission came out with a striking report really surprised me.
There are allegations that the government is playing politics with the report.
I have no political motives. No political party or women’s group has ever helped me or has uttered a word in my support. Hence I am not worried about who benefits or who loses.
Do you think no one helped you because of your image as a woman who will go to any extent to get things done?
Had I worn a white sari and cried publicly about me being exploited, I might have got more help. The very fact that I wore colourful saris and bravely faced all humiliation made people uneasy. But that’s me. I don’t like playing the victim card. I would rather be known as a fighter.
Were you raped?
Yes, I was. I have given all proof regarding that to the commission. Just because I am deemed to be of certain character, nobody has the right to touch me without my permission.
Do you have any regrets?
Yes, a lot. I have made many mistakes in my life. But who in the world has not committed mistakes? My biggest regret is that I could not continue my studies although I was a brilliant student. My early marriage was the second mistake which I made. And, my biggest mistake was that I trusted the wrong people.
Some compare you with Kuriyedathu Thathri.
Thathrikkutty decided to fight against the oppressive system which prevailed among the Namboodiri community. Her rebellion was deliberate. Mine happened because I had no other option.
What are your plans now?
Like every normal woman, my dreams are around my two children. I want them to have a good life. And, for myself, I want to prove with my life that I was not such a bad woman as many would like to believe.
Do you think your life offers a lesson to other women?
Women should have the courage to say no when the situation demands so. My life became like this because I dithered when I should have said no. I have realised through my life that the courage to say no is the biggest asset in a woman’s life.
