Just picture a kid in a tug-of-war kind of situation every morning with her father. That is how most of my early mornings were while growing up, helping my dad with his turban. When I think about it now, it is both funny, and endearing. It reminds me of the jokes we shared then and the fun we had.
People make jokes about it, but the fact that we all (men and women) have long hair ensures that a lot of tips on caring for the tresses float around when we sit together and chat. I get the texture and volume of my hair from my dad. He has long, curly hair, while my mom has straight hair. For me, it was important to practise the same hair-care routine as my dad. It may be very unlike what a lot of girls follow growing up.
Another aspect that I have loved is how the prayers and weddings are quick. In 30 minutes, you are done with a gurdwara wedding. I remember how as a kid I thought that weddings went on for hours. The pre- and post-wedding rituals, even in Sikhism, are really elaborate, but the main ritual gets over quickly. Everything else that happens during weddings is about eating, partying and enjoying good music. Even during a serious ritual, you will see people discussing what music to play and where to party after the event.
Even if most of us have two left feet, we love to dance. Everyone dances, irrespective of whether they know the steps or not. There is a ritual called Jago during our weddings, where we make sounds with utensils and everyone dances to it. It may sound wild, but it is so much fun and full of revelry. There is no orchestra playing, but we indulge. I think we look for excuses to dance. In fact, you will find people gathered only at three places during a wedding—the dance floor, near the buffet and the bar. And, it never changes.
I was born and brought up in Delhi and I have a lot of non-Sikh friends, and everyone unanimously used to think that it is more a community with heart. It was by living in Delhi that I learnt how people think so fondly of Sikhs and also how everyone is so dedicated to work in the gurdwaras. Everyone I knew cherished a Sikh friend because they believed that that is one person who would never leave your side.
The idea that sardars are fun-loving is mostly right. The celebrations are big. We do not shy away from laughing out loud. And generally, we are loud. Everything is larger-than-life, more dramatic and a little amped-up. That makes your life pretty exciting when you are growing up.
Since Sikhism is a young religion, most of the traditions have reasons behind them. You do not really question why you are doing a particular ritual. There is a logical understanding behind everything, which most people are aware of. Most of the things we practise are quite in sync with today’s world.
Taapsee Pannu is an actor.
—As told to Priyanka Bhadani