Steep learning curve

COVER STORY Illustration: Binesh Sreedharan

What the BJP rule taught me in the past one year

  • Sages of ancient India could fly aircraft.
  • Cloning was pioneered in ancient India.
  • Lord Hanuman developed the prescription to overcome death.
  • Nehru was a mere philanderer.
  • India's flag should be Ashoka chakra on saffron.
  • It is against Indian culture for women to venture out after dark.
  • Eating beef is the cause of most ailments.
  • The most important issue that the adivasi children of Madhya Pradesh are facing today is the egg given with the mid-day meal.
  • Hindu women who do not bear five children are responsible for the decline of the community.
  • All minority groups are entitled to reservation.... Brahmins are a minority.
  • Cow urine is a cure-all.
  • To respect others' beliefs is to turn vegetarian. But respecting Muslims does not entail eating meat.
  • Sanskrit is the key to progress.... Do not waste time on English.
  • To drink cow's milk, which is meant for the calf, is a virtue, while to butcher a dying cow is a sin.
  • Cow dung is a better disinfectant than phenol.
  • The Shiva linga is a symbol of nuclear power.
  • Kissing is the culture of the west. Ours is rape.
  • Mobile phone and jeans are leading the girls astray.
  • Even Einstein upheld the vedas.
  • Deleting WhatsApp chats can endanger national security.

Thank you, Indian genius, for enlightening me.

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