Thiruvananthapuram MP Shashi Tharoor may have been showered with titles like "global citizen" at platforms ranging from nations’ leagues to Nair society leagues (aka karayogams); he may have been welcomed and facilitated at global stages more times than we can count. Nevertheless, the District Congress Committee office of Thiruvananthapuram has long been a ‘Tharoor-free’ zone.
If you had a time machine that could whisk you back to August 2021, you'd stumble upon posters in front of the Thiruvananthapuram DCC office creatively labelling him a "traitor". Ah, the "global citizen" was accused of cooking up some "petty politics" recipes to grab the reins of the local DCC. Then, when Tharoor decided to run for Congress national president post, the DCC leadership took a stance against it.
Furthermore, when the Tharoor camp dropped hints that he was all set to dive headfirst into state politics, and that “global citizen” is ready to even don the "CM of Kerala" costume, his local DCC president Palode Ravi locked arms with the faction led by Opposition leader V.D. Satheeshan. And if you rewind the clock just four months to April, you'd witness a quirky spectacle where Tharoor's personal staff members and the Thiruvananthapuram DCC general secretary resorted to turning the DCC office into a veritable wrestling arena. So, it comes as no surprise that for what feels like an eternity, the official Thiruvananthapuram Congress leadership hasn't organized a program where Tharoor would be the star of the show.
On September 1, this extended dry spell finally came to an end. Tharoor, the shiny new addition to the Congress Working Committee, the party's executive committee, received a grand reception at the airport and was later ushered to the DCC office and the KPCC office, all led by none other than DCC president Ravi. But hold your applause because the opposition CPI(M) is busy crafting an entirely different story line regarding the motivations behind the DCC leadership's actions. They claim that Ravi orchestrated this grand welcome to shield his "official" group from a potential humiliating "unofficial" welcome organized by Tharoor camp. The CPI(M)'s official mouthpiece’s theory is that Ravi has suddenly had an epiphany about Tharoor's newfound clout, too, within the party, thanks to his CWC induction.
Care from the air
Oh, "helicopter parenting," the term that fondly describes those parents who graciously offer to hover over their children's lives. Sure, some naysayers might insist on using it negatively, but not this writer. No, we must all bow in reverence to the profound "caring" that underpins the actions of these "helicopter parents." It's the same heartwarming "caring" that we should extend to our beloved chief ministers and prime ministers who've literally embraced the delightful concept of "helicopter governance."
Who cares if the state treasury is feeling a tad tight? Flying on helicopters to look into the lives of their “subjects” is just so... heartwarming. Bringing a parent-child dynamic to the stately world of governance!
So, why on earth would anyone cause a ruckus about the Kerala government renting a helicopter?
Especially when the state has a CM who handles every affairs “with care”! Just Rs 80 lakh for 25 hours of flight, and a mere Rs 90,000 for each additional hour. That’s it! So much commotion for such a cheap deal that is intended to showcase the CM’s care showering from the hovering machine!
Listen up, folks, let's not waste any brainpower questioning this. We should all just blindly accept the official explanation that the chopper is primarily for Maoist surveillance and disaster management, and any sporadic "helicopter governance" is just a bonus, if, heaven forbid, there's any prepaid flying time left. And if by some chance the priorities happen to flip—where the chief minister’s airborne escapades take precedence over surveillance and disaster management— well, it's all in the spirit of "caring." Who could argue with that?
Adjustments in friendliness
In the upcoming week, the Puthupally constituency in Kerala stands on the brink of a historic decision: selecting the next MLA to fill the seat that Congress stalwart Oommen Chandy occupied for an impressive 53-year stretch. As the final days of campaigning draw near, one may get the sense that the primary contenders, the Congress and the CPI(M), are engaged in an intense battle within the constituency. Both parties have even exchanged accusations of employing questionable tactics. The Congress has squarely pointed the finger at the CPI(M), alleging cyberattacks against the sisters of UDF candidate Chandy Oommen. In response, the CPI(M) has counter-accused, claiming cyberattacks aimed at the pregnant wife of LDF candidate Jaick C. Thomas!
However, BJP MP and Union Minister V. Muraleedharan sees this as nothing more than a "friendly contest" between the UDF and the LDF. He goes a step further, tagging both Chandy and Jaick as the candidates for a Pinarayi Aikya Munnani (Pinarayi Joint Front), citing an adjustment between the UDF and the LDF on certain issues.
But here's the kicker: We should prepare ourselves for the post-election revelation of the losing party—whether it is CPI(M) or Congress—blaming a "vote adjustment with the BJP" as the primary excuse for their defeat. This writer eagerly anticipates watching the losing party point fingers at the winning one with that “friendly” excuse in hand.
This is a work of satire
