There are times when a film makes you laugh so much that you almost forget to question what exactly you are laughing your way through. Girish A D’s most recent “Bethlehem Kudumba Unit” appears to be one such example. It has everything that qualifies it as a comfort watch: comedy, family drama, warm characters… the whole deal. Beneath all this wholesomeness lies a question that has divided the viewers: is the romance central to the plot harmless, or is the inappropriate age gap portrayed too cute?
For Natasha Francis, a student from the University of Punjab, the discomfort is personal. Having grown up watching Nivin Pauly films, she says she has always adored the actor and was happy to see him return to form. But watching him play a character romantically involved with someone closer to her own age has made her reconsider the trope.
“It was fine for me to watch all these movies when I was younger, and so were the characters in these movies,” she says. “But I'm not sure if I'm comfortable thinking that older Nivin's characters want to be in a relationship with someone who is my current age.”
Her concern is not merely about one fictional couple. She believes that repeatedly presenting significantly older men pursuing much younger women as romantic can shape the way audiences perceive such relationships. In a world where women already have to navigate creepy behaviour and predatory men, she argues, films should consider being more careful about turning large age gaps into something to root for.
Pranav Gangadharan, an IT employee, however, believes the issue cannot simply be reduced to numbers. For him, context matters. A 22- or 23-year-old can make independent decisions, and he does not believe every romance between people of different ages should automatically be considered creepy. “I didn't get any extra maturity fed to my brain at 25 that I didn't have at 22,” he says, arguing that a person in their early twenties is old enough to make choices about their own relationships.
His perspective also offers an interesting way of looking back at two of Nivin Pauly’s earlier romances, “Om Shanti Oshana” and “Premam”.
Pranav admits that OSO has moments that do not sit quite as comfortably today. Pooja having a crush on Giri is one thing, especially because the two only get together when she is in her mid-to-late twenties. But the film eventually reveals that Giri, too, had feelings for her much earlier. Looking back, moments such as him smiling at her while she is still in her school uniform can feel uncomfortable. The film may ultimately wait until she is an adult before bringing them together, but the suggestion that his interest existed when she was still a schoolgirl changes the way those scenes are viewed.
“Premam”, however, is different. When George knows Celine as a child, he treats her exactly like a child. There is no romantic interest being established then, no knowing glances or suggestion that he is waiting for her to grow up. The romance develops only after Celine is an adult. The distinction is crucial. An age difference, by itself, is not necessarily the problem; how and when a film establishes attraction can make all the difference.
Mukil Babu, a student in Bangalore, sees BKU as part of a larger pattern in Girish AD’s films. From the older man stalking Sharanya before eventually winning her over in “Super Sharanya” to the high-school student-teacher dynamic in “Thanneer Mathan Dinangal”, he believes the filmmaker repeatedly returns to questionable dynamics involving younger women and older men. “The tone may be softer, but the creepiness of Girish AD’s style remains the same,” he says.
Not everyone sees the relationship in the film as inherently creepy. Amal Gafoor, an aspiring filmmaker based in Kochi, says he has no fundamental issue with romances involving an age difference as long as both people are consenting adults with the agency to make their own choices. In BKU, he feels that both characters have enough agency to decide for themselves.
Navneet, a software developer from Bangalore, similarly acknowledges that the age gap is problematic but feels the film presents it as part of the conflict rather than ignoring it altogether. The well-defined characters and slice-of-life treatment, he says, make the romance feel more grounded, while the couple’s wholesome moments and gestures make it easier for audiences to like them.
But for Abraham Vijai, an engineering student in Canada, acknowledging the age gap is not enough. The film does bring attention to the difference between the characters, he says, but that is “as far as it goes in terms of justification.”
His bigger issue is with how Mamitha Baiju’s character is written. She feels “flat, just made to serve the protagonist,” he says. This is where the debate moves beyond the simple question of whether a woman in her early twenties has the agency to enter a relationship with an older man. Of course she does. But if the younger woman is not given enough depth outside her relationship with the older protagonist, the romance can begin to feel designed primarily around his emotional journey.
Abraham also felt there was more chemistry between Nivin and Suresh Krishna’s character than between Nivin and Mamitha’s, which isn't exactly what a central romance should achieve. For him, the comedy worked, but the relationship did not. He also found some of the film’s narrative choices, including Justin immediately believing the video at face value, difficult to accept.
Shaz Mohammed, a medical student in Kozhikode, meanwhile, felt the film worked as “2.5 hours of relaxation and laughter.” He offers a more nuanced reading of the younger woman’s choices as well. Coming from an emotionally manipulative and gaslighting family that even confines her at one point, she may see Nivin’s character as a place of solace. At the same time, Shaz notes that Nivin’s character can be emotionally unavailable and take their relationship for granted.
BKU may acknowledge the age gap, but acknowledging a problem is not quite the same as examining it. And when the relationship is wrapped in humour, wholesome gestures and a charming family entertainer, the discomfort can easily disappear beneath the laughter.
A film can be comforting and genuinely entertaining. But a relationship does not automatically become less questionable simply because it is accompanied by good jokes, cute gestures and enough family chaos to distract us from asking questions.
After all, the most effective romanticisation makes things look simply adorable enough that you stop wondering whether it is problematic.
