The Dalai Lama said that we must learn from the gravest tragedies. Here’s what I learnt from Vladimir Putin.
1. A smile may take you a mile, but…
An icy stare will take you much further – in fact, it will take you all the way to Kyiv. Now, this may be the exact opposite of what you pick up from happiness gurus and through drippy WhatsApp messages every morning. Well, Putin has proved conventional wisdom to be bunkum. Ever seen him smiling? Even when he does consent to express happiness, it is a thin-lipped mutant of a smile that does not travel far on his face. Moral of the story: read Putin’s lips. If you smile easily, frequently, and without valid reasons, it signals that you are content with yourself. No special effort is therefore required to keep you in good humour. If you want the world to sit up and take notice, let your default expression be stone cold.
2. SAMBO is the new Rambo
Vladimir Putin, an expert in Judo, loves to spar with Russia’s Olympics team. When the TV cameras are on, he ends up winning all the bouts since both the Olympians and TV technicians know their place. He is also adept at SAMBO – a Russian acronym for ‘empty hand’. It is a lethal form of martial arts developed for soldiers of the Red Army. Among the many skills it teaches is to put opponents on the mat, and Putin is giving us a live demo. This makes him one of the most formidable world leaders going. Yes, a certain 56-inch chest may puff itself with pride, but when push comes to shove, I would put my money on the SAMBO Judo combo. Putin has also blown to bits the notion that you need to be tall to make a mark. Putin’s height is a state secret – anywhere between 5 ft. 1 inch to 5 ft. 6 inches - but he has made short work of the tallest leaders. Putin of course has an inspiring precedent. A gentleman called Napoleon Bonaparte was almost the same height.
3. Walk the talk
There is something purposeful about Putin’s walk. It is firm, measured and arrow-like in its direction. It’s a walk of a man who knows where he is going. Walks matter in power politics – often more than talks because most leaders talk the same way, i.e. badly. Run-of-the-mill products of substandard public speaking classes, some screech, some bleat and some pose rhetorical questions in nasal twang. Clearly, the world of Winston Churchill and grandstand oratory are over, and the stage is open for leaders who telegraph their intentions through body language. If you need video coaching in non-verbal communication, search for the clipping that went viral some months ago showing Putin walking through the long corridors of the Kremlin. It’s probably intended to tell the world that the Kremlin is grand enough to make the White House blush. But you can skip the propaganda and focus on how Putin takes the world in his stride.
4. Actions speak louder than sanctions
For all those who constantly look over their shoulders and dare not overstep the red line of public opinion, Putin is a role model. As they say, if you don’t find a place at the table, you are probably on the menu. So, Putin grabs what he wants, telling sanctions what he thinks of them. Apart from sanctions, he has played jiggery-pokery with UN conventions and his own country’s constitution. When the rules said that he couldn’t remain president for more than two terms, he simply re-wrote the rule book and can now officially stay on as president till 2032.
5. Communicating in double-speak
Lewis Caroll’s Humpty Dumpty said ‘a word will mean exactly what I choose it to mean’. Putin belongs to the Humpty Dumpty School of Linguistics, and since the crisis began, Putin has spoken a lot without saying much. Officially, Russia has still not gone to war. Instead, it is conducting a ‘military operation’. America and a lot of other countries had also enrolled at the Humpty Dumpty School but being poor learners, they made a laughing stock of themselves. ‘Weapons of mass destruction’ is such a long-standing joke, people have stopped laughing. Putin, on the other hand, wins our sympathy because the “military operation” is the “only way for Russia to defend itself”.
Of course, you and I can’t claim to be the only ones learning life lessons from Putin. Turn east, and you will see China’s eternal president carefully taking notes, and nodding to himself in appreciation. Soon you can bet you will see Xi Jinping laughing all the way to Taiwan, Hong Kong, Pangong.…
So, ‘Thank You Mr Putin!’
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author's and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of THE WEEK.
