A popular quote from Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov reminds me of a beautiful journey I have had with my twin sister Monika. The quote is thus—“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”
I and my twin have had a very difficult life. We were born in a poor family, brought up by a single mother and all the hardships that come with it. Never did these hurdles deter both of us from living a memorable life. We were both popular as Sonika-Monika, as if it were one name. And why not? After all, we were conjoined by a bond that is rare to witness. And this never changed even after I lost my other half, my loving twin, to cancer on August 22, 2017.
Monika passed away after fighting a truly fierce battle with leukemia for three years like a true warrior. But her battle was hugely inspiring, or rather the most motivating case study of human will against destiny. And I stood by her side like a second-in-command in her gritty battle against cancer and the purpose we decided to live by together.
On World Cancer Day, I wish to bring this story to the world so every cancer warrior out there and their kin stand up together against cancer and fight it like there is no other choice but win. Yes, that is the message Monika and I continue to pass on to the world that cancer is conquerable. And that no instance of death from cancer should make one believe that they too share a common fate.
When Monika was diagnosed with cancer in October 2015, our world came crumbling on us. Her cancer was aggressive and had a poor prognosis owing to a genetic defect. But both of us believed in the power of human mind. We told each other every day that together we can beat cancer, and a cancer that was ready to devour her within months remained on the backfoot for three years. So much that her doctor at a reputed private hospital once quoted, “ Monika, you are so tenacious.” She had decided to not give up. And I made sure she had me by her side in her battle.
Monika and Sonika Bakshi
Whenever we were together, all we talked about was hope, motivation, dreams and purpose. We looked forward to tomorrow like it were the most awaited part of our lives. After the critical bone marrow transplant, in the Bone Marrow Transplant ICU, she discussed the idea of starting a website, a one of its kind, to fill the existing vacuum of hope all over internet. She suggested that we start a website by the name Stronger Than Cancer to push motivation and hope into the lives of all cancer warriors who are made to fear cancer like it were a death sentence. The website www.strongerthancancers.com and the Facebook Page named Stronger Than Cancer has ever since managed to bring the most inspiring stories of victory over cancer. Till the end, Monika sourced, edited and posted these stories that defined the power of human will to live; sometimes from the hospital room as well. And I, like her true other half, helped her in the mission. We both worked on creating a community of those who strongly feel for the cause and believe that cancer is only a diagnosis.
When I lost Monika, my world stopped for a while. It felt like I lost a purpose I was so passionate about. Consigning my sister to the pious flame was the most dreadful experience. But as I bid her goodbye, I promised to myself and to her that the mission of hope will continue and no cancer warrior will take chemotherapy with a broken morale. I vowed to make a message loud and clear to each cancer warrior out there that they are stronger than cancer.
My sister was a beautiful woman—inside and out. Her beautifully kohled eyes sparkled with child-like joy every time we sourced a story of victory over this disease. Even during her treatment in the hospital, she would step out of her room to encourage another cancer warrior taking treatment next door. She would always smile. She would ensure she did not let hopelessness take over her. She was a beacon of hope and will continue to remain one. The purpose she chose for herself will keep her alive. And I feel fortunate about bringing hope to millions of cancer warriors through her mission.
Here is what I wish to tell each and every cancer warrior through this piece—giving up is never an option for a warrior. And, you are a warrior. Fight fiercely and make sure when you conquer the enemy, you stand up for others to motivate them. Let this flame of hope brighten with each passing day. Let us together break the stigma associated with cancer. Let us together tell the world—cancer is conquerable.
