I often wondered why so many people are making fun of older air hostesses in the Air India flight. Did we pay for the journey, or to see the crew? Since it was not something that I really understood or liked, I made a joke about that in my show—questioning the men. (That joke is very popular now).
I think it’s really important to stand-up for equality—not just gender equality but also equality for everyone across class, creed and caste. It’s important to correct people at any point they are going wrong. But yes, for many many years, we have had a patriarchal mindset where we have always thought that men have more say than the women. If that is what a man still thinks, it needs to be corrected. Women have been suppressed and it continues at many places. And that’s where men, who have the realisation that women are no lesser beings, should stand up for it.
When we were planning our show, TVF’s Humorously Yours, our motive was to show how the dynamics of relationship has changed over the years, especially in urban India. There’s a role-reversal—sometimes, the wife goes out on a regular job and the husband pursues his passion with no fixed income. In that case, the wife doesn’t start believing that she is greater than the man. We see so many such relationships running smoothly only because there’s no ego tussle because of the gender. Any relationship is a partnership of equal contribution. The moment you start thinking that a man contributes more, or a woman contributes less, it falters, and often times fails.
Just like the show, in reality, too, my wife has a regular work schedule. She goes to office, while I, with a career in the entertainment industry, have a haywire schedule. I handle the kitchen proudly when I have to, and I don’t think it makes me a lesser-being. You have to understand the changes we are witnessing in the society and act accordingly.
One change that I think will really help the cause of equality between men and women is to treat them equally since they are kids. On that account, the concept of an all-boys school should also be banned. It makes the boys too curious and leads to many unpleasant circumstances at many junctures. Studying in a co-ed also leads to a very healthy relationship between the boys and the girls since the time they are young.
Understanding the psychology, problems and difficulties of the opposite sex, becomes easier, making you more compassionate. I have been to an all-boys school and then to an engineering college (mostly populated with boys), and I still feel uncomfortable sometimes in the presence of an attractive woman. I often feel inferior, and wonder how can she talk to me! But you know, it can be opposite at times, leading to awkward situations we don’t want to be in. That’s the change we need, and that’s the change we should fight for.
Vipul Goyal is a stand-up artiste and stars in Humorously Yours.
As told to Priyanka Bhadani
