I want my daughters to live in a safer world: Esha Deol Takhtani

When the pandemic started, we were taking each day as it came. We kept hoping that things would get better. I pulled through one year, thinking that everything would be different once 2020 got over. To my surprise, the beginning of 2021 was equally bad. Work-wise things became uncertain. Most of us had signed projects whose fate had become uncertain.

I tried to forget about myself and focus on keeping my daughters Radhya and Miraya—both under five years old—entertained. I designed a nice routine for them where they would do creative activities, get some play time and read. I would not just give them toys to play with, but also try to stimulate their brains. There would be singing and story-reading sessions, and lots of cooking with all of us turning home chefs. In the evening, I would include some physical activity—cycling or walking on our premises. Finally, I would let them watch cartoons before going to bed.

My daughters are everything to me. My life revolves around them. They do all the girly things possible. They love dancing, singing, wearing my lipstick and shoes, and carrying my purses. They both have strong personalities and do all the things that sisters do. I have experienced that with my own sister, and I see the same happening with them.

When Radhya was born, I started writing a book on motherhood called Amma Mia, which is very close to my heart. It describes what I was going through as a first-time mom. I wanted to share the whole experience with other women and new mothers. It took me a year and a half to finish the book. Its backbone is food. It starts with my childhood and how I dealt with food-related issues. And now that I am a mom, how I look at those issues and what changes I would like to bring to my children’s food habits. There are 200 plus amazing and simple recipes in the book which we tried out at home. Amma Mia released on the day the lockdown was announced.

The world has changed a lot since my childhood. Technology has become huge. Back then, we did not have iPhones and tablets. Today, children play virtual football on their tablets; in our time, we used to go to the neighbourhood field and play. The world is much more fast-paced now. I miss the 1980s; they were the wonder years.

My mother was much more lenient with me than I am with my children. My husband, Bharat, and Radhya were watching Kajol’s film, Helicopter Eela, when she turned to me and said: “This is exactly you, mama.” Still, whatever I have learnt and am today is because of the way my parents raised me. I have tried to raise my children the same way in their day-to-day lives, how they treat people and how they approach things. I try to do the same things with them that I did while growing up. I want to inculcate in them a value for Indian culture, respect for elders, humility and being spiritually grounded.

I hope when my daughters grow up, this country will become a safer place for women. It is a fear that all of us have—we want that security for our future generations of women. That is why I made a film on female foeticide, Ek Duaa, this year—to create awareness and touch a chord. Having girl children is so important for us to progress as a society. We need more women in the world. It is our ‘Mother Earth’ after all. I hope the world will be a place where women can walk around safely, and be treated with respect by men. I want my girls to grow up to be strong, dignified and street-smart women, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Till then, we just need to live with hope. I believe Covid-19 will not last forever. This is going to pass, there are going to be better and brighter days ahead. The pandemic has only made us stronger and more connected in the way we have all come together to save humanity.

Takhtani is an actor and dancer.

—As told to Anjuly Mathai