Men: It is getting to the point where we have to be afraid of even making eye contact with the women on the street!
Women: Welcome to how we have felt about men, literally, forever.
This is a forward message that resonated with scores of women over the past several days on social media, following the #MeToo wave. Unfortunately, there is no woman who has not been harassed at least once in her lifetime—from unwanted touches to ogles to flashing and eve-teasing and worse, rapes. Women have faced it in one form or the other and have felt violated. Unlike how a few ‘uncles’ describe it, #MeToo is not an insurance policy to rescue female employees out of a failing career; nor is it an attempt to tarnish male gender as a whole. It, on the other hand, is a movement born out of years of suppressed agony, anger, anguish, helplessness and frustration; a purge of old emotions.
The success of #MeToo was that it was not a carefully executed movement. Had it been so, it would have been easily nipped in the bud. “There are so many in the hiding. There was an editor who made us all very uncomfortable. But how do you report that he doesn’t give you a good vibe,” asks a female friend and former colleague. How does it feel like to work with a boss who cannot make eye contact with you, but talks to your ‘chest’?
The easiest (and lazy) response, from both men and women, to #MeToo is to ask these brave women “why now”? “What were you doing all these years?” “Why didn’t you complain then?” “How do we know you are not lying?” Think about it again. Why would these women expose themselves while publicising names of their perpetrators, when they are well aware that after so many years after most of these incidents took place, they might be slapped with defamation cases due to lack of strong evidence to back their claims?
Thankfully, at least a few men have begun to ask female friends and colleagues if they have ever offended them. Some have even gone to the extent of apologising without waiting for a reply—an anticipatory bail of sorts in case they are named. An irony in itself—if you were unsure about a remark or action, why did you go ahead and do it at all? The culprit here is casual sexism that has been nourished by misogyny and patriarchy over generations. A movement spearheaded by women and for women was a rude shock to the patriarchal society that never fathomed that such an outrage.
Revelations of sexism and harassment in workplaces have also brought up another interesting question among men—why is it so complicated to work with women? It is not. Women, in fact, were complicating their lives all these years by not raising voices. We were silently enduring the pain and shame. Now, what is imperative is to ensure an inclusive environment for women to thrive.
“In our day-to-day lives, are we ensuring that workplaces are not triggering sexism? The role of co-workers is to ensure environments are not toxic, even before women come forward with grievances. And, to just support victims when they come forward,” says Anoo Bhuyan, one of the first journalists in India to call out her harasser in the #MeToo movement.
Indian offices are not the best in the world when it comes to gender parity and working environment. In at least a few cases that saw light of the day, women had reported sexual misconduct or uncomfortable behaviour to the concerned authorities at their offices (HR, boss, internal committee, etc). But often, organisations resorted to 'victim shaming' and taking no action against the perpetrators. Incidentally, the Centre’s reaction (lack of it, to be precise) to sexual misconduct allegations against Union minister M.J. Akbar is a reflection of the common response in India upon receiving a harassment complaint.
Notably, most of the media organisations named in the #MeToo movement were prompt to set up Internal Complaints Committees (ICC), in compliance with the Sexual Harassment Act, 2013. But the dangers of a society focussed only on compliance have never been more magnified. What happens if the company refuses to follow-up a complaint and take action? Will there be any action against the organisation? Also, what mechanisms are in place to ensure unbiased inquiry into such complaints placed before the ICC? What happens if the accused resigns from the organisation? Do we have a policy in place to blacklist such journalists? A mail sent to the Editors Guild of India President Shekhar Gupta raising these questions remained unanswered till the time of publishing of this report.
Another issue that needs attention is the skewed sex-ratio in boardrooms. While there are women in senior positions, the decision-making process is often in the hands of a group of men. In India, the representation of women is a mere 13 per cent in the boardrooms of Nifty 500 companies, as of 2017. Female employees’ longevity in companies is often cited as the reason for lack of women representations in the hierarchy. True that, women need to stay longer in the workforce. At the same time, it is important women feel comfortable to stay on. When women see greater roles and responsibilities coming their way in the long-run, they are likely to stay longer.
The role of co-workers is no less important. Passing sexist comments, calling your female colleague “sexy” or “hot” is not okay. Flush your patronising bro-culture vocabulary and behaviour down the drain. Make an attempt to respect women even within all-boys groups. No unsolicited touches or hugs. Learn to take ‘no’ for an answer and dust up your dictionary to understand the meaning of consent.
As Maya Angelou wrote,
“Take the blinders from your vision,
take the padding from your ears,
and confess you've heard me crying,
and admit you've seen my tears.”
