Until I turned 28, my relationship with my weighing machine was like that of America and Russia pre-Cold War, like we were pulling in the same direction in our pursuit of world peace and prosperity.
Afterwards, it became like that of the two countries during the height of the Cold War—one of distrust and suspicion, teetering on the edge of full-blown war. In short, my weighing machine went rogue, catapulting my weight to stratospheric heights. Almost overnight, I went from a trim 48kg to a buxom 57kg. The battle of the bulge had begun.
Now, every Monday morning, I close my eyes, grit my teeth, offer a silent prayer and climb onto the weighing machine. Every time the needle moves north, I can almost hear the machine tittering: “You poor thing, did you really think I was going to overlook all that Toblerone you ate last week?”
The pattern has now become set in stone—extreme dieting followed by uncontrolled binging. For a week or two, I would abstain from processed, fried and oily foods and—the bane of my existence—chocolates. For me, chocolates exemplify the two extremes of existence: absolute bliss when they are in your mouth and absolute agony when they have melted into nothingness. Why oh why did God create such sugary perfection and then load it with calories? Why must the best things in life always come at a price?
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After a few days of dieting, I will feel good about myself, as if the world has gone from 2D to 3D and everything is in high definition. Roses look redder, Vir Das jokes are funnier, some politicians don’t look like such clowns and even my annoying neighbour doesn’t seem so annoying anymore.
And then the fight begins:
STEP 1: Cue, temptation. Oscar Wilde could not have put it better when he said, “I can resist everything except temptation.” Why did I never notice how beautifully undulating the shape of a Pringle is? How much more beautiful would that Pringle be in my mouth?
STEP 2: The rationalisation begins. Can one Pringle—or 20—be really bad for you? After all, isn’t it Keats who said that a thing of beauty is a joy forever? Nothing could be darker or drearier than a chip-free world.
STEP 3: Surrender never tasted so good. And even as you stuff your mouth with chips, you hear Bob Seger’s ‘Beautiful Loser playing like a broken record in your brain. Story of my life!
I know this struggle is not mine alone. It might not be relentless snacking—it could be women, vodka or video games—but the pattern remains the same: fight, yield, feel guilty and then fight, yield and feel guilty again. So, is there any way to stop your life from endlessly playing on loop?
According to the health blog of Harvard Medical School, there are five steps to breaking a bad habit:
1. Set a quit date
2. Change your environment—remove every trigger. If you are addicted to alcohol, for example, remove any alcohol, bottles or wine glasses from the house.
3. Distract yourself—every time you feel the urge, direct your attention to something else. Take, for example, a short walk, call a friend or drink a glass of water.
4. Review your past attempts at quitting—what worked or did not work in the past? Note them down.
5. Create a support network—namely, friends, family, or colleagues who can offer encouragement and support.
Also, research suggests that using your willpower may not be the best way to fight temptation. Replacing willpower with self-control is advisable.
Dr Kentaro Fujita, professor of psychology at Ohio State University, says in The New York Times that preparation, mind-set and the ability to either avoid or reframe temptation can be far more effective than trying to force the desire down.
If Fujita is to be believed, moderation might be a better approach, especially in my case, than extreme dieting. “You know you are going to fail,” he said. “The question is: How are you going to respond?” Not, I’m guessing, by wanting to smash your weighing machine against the wall. Out of sight, out of mental agony?
