She wakes before dawn, packs sumptuous lunches for everyone, clocks in at work, manages a household, remembers birthdays, attends PTA meetings, stays fit, and somehow even remains emotionally available to everyone around her.
This 'do it all' ability is applauded, but under this glossy tag is a reality that is hardly acknowledged. " Society has conditioned women to be primary caregivers. Husbands are not taught how to share the load," says Neuro Coach, Saloni Suri.
At its core, the supermom narrative is deeply rooted in expectation and exhaustion is worn like a badge of honor. Asking for help is not encouraged and over time, this pressure results in an incomplete checklist of dreams and aspirations.
Tracking schedules, emotions, meals, homework, doctor’s appointments, family dynamics and it would not be surprising if all these chores lead to burnout.
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This 'mental load' is rarely acknowledged or shared equitably by their family members and the outcome is persistent fatigue that rest alone cannot fix.
Despite the burnout, these supermoms are expected to be patient and nurturing, even when they are reeling under pressure. There is very little space for anger, sadness, or vulnerability.
When these emotions surface, guilt frequently follows silently. Mothers may feel selfish for wanting time alone, pursuing their ambitions, or even wanting to take a break. " Women are taught that self-care is selfish. Hence, they primarily become givers and neglect themselves," Saloni explains. She will be part of a panel discussion to share her views on 'Fishbowl: Woman as a Leader' at the Mpowering Minds Summit on February 27, Bengaluru.
Physical health, too, takes a toll. Skipped meals, disrupted sleep, postponed medical checkups, and stress-related ailments become the new 'normal'. The human body, however, cannot keep forgiving and manifests stress in ways that make it hard ignore as time passes.
Children, too, can learn to believe that constant self-sacrifice is the standard expression of love. The supermom identity, while celebrated, can consume the woman so much so that she forgets her individuality.
The impossible standard of being a supermom is the first step that needs to be broken to promote equality. Let go of the myth to reclaim something far more valuable than perfection.
