There was a time, not long ago, when old-fashioned romance—replete with candle-light dinners and movie night cuddles—took a drastic hit, courtesy a pandemic that no one saw coming. After all, the minimum requirement for falling in love is meeting the prospective candidate, right? And how eloquent can you be over Zoom, especially if you face connection issues right in the middle of confessing your love? Social-distancing, masks and lockdowns practically vanquished budding romance.
Imagine, in this scenario, going on a first date that lasted 52 hours. Ironically, Devlina and Varun Kumar say it is not despite the lockdown, but because of it that they found romance. Varun was just coming out of a five-year gruelling relationship and Devlina had started seeing a therapist because she felt something was off in her life. By the time of the lockdown, Devlina’s self-worth had increased. “I knew I had so much love to give and no one to give it to,” she says. That’s when she got on the dating app Hinge, and met Varun.
That day, Devlina had been at a friend’s house. After having pasta and wine, she was so sleepy she almost cancelled on the date. But her friend advised her to go ahead with it. At least she would get a ride back to her home in Bandra; it would be difficult to get a cab anyway. So, she did not cancel. It was perhaps the best decision of her life. During the date, they spoke about everything—from politics, work and mental health to their mutual love for Delhi and even funny coincidences like how both had unknowingly stood in the same queue the day Burger King opened its first outlet in Mumbai. It felt so easy to speak to each other—no pretence, no performance.
The date started with a coffee at Starbucks, then they went for a drive along Carter Road, and sat on the beach for a while. It would have ended then, but Varun badly wanted to use the wash-room and asked Devlina if he could use the one at her home. “I was prepared to leave in a bit, but the conversation became even more free-flowing and before we knew, it was morning,” says Varun. “We were both hungry and devoured a pizza just as the daylight broke.” They continued their date at Devlina’s place, introducing each other to their favourite music and TV shows like Seinfeld and The IT Crowd.
They say the lockdown gave them the “gift of slowness”. They would go on long car dates in Bandra, with Devlina bringing the chai and Varun bringing something he’d cooked that day. They would watch films on the phone in the car. Sometimes, Varun, while driving from Andheri to meet Devlina, would stack vegetables in the boot so that if the cops stopped him, he could say that he was helping an unwell friend. “The lockdown made us realise that all we have is this moment, and despite dating apps that make you feel like there’s a catalogue of people out there, the process [of finding someone] becomes quite tiresome,” says Varun. “Living in such a volatile time made us value the prospect of romance.”
A little over a year later, they got married. Like for most couples, marriage has not been all smooth sailing, especially when they changed careers, Devlina from an event planner to a manifestation coach and Varun, from a corporate job to a screenwriter. And then, Varun was diagnosed with ADHD. But they weathered these storms together and emerged stronger.
After all, you don’t “fall” in love, you “grow” in love, says Devlina.
It is their weaknesses rather than their strengths that have fortified their relationship. She says that Varun’s ADHD has taught her patience and compassion, as she tries to truly understand him in order to help him.
Both had to deal with their specific demons before they could be made whole for each other. Although they don’t have children, they feel their family is complete with two cats—Jim-Jam and Sherlock. Now, they joke that their only fight is about the temperature of the air-conditioner in the bedroom. Varun prefers sleeping without the AC on. “It was the first fight we had,” quips Devlina. “He said that his house would never have an AC. I told him then your house will only have you in it, not me.”
Some could call their meeting during the lockdown to be serendipitous, but Varun says it cannot be merely attributed to chance. “If I had to plot two characters like us meeting and falling in love, it would take quite a few seasons to really show how it happened,” he says. “But the fact that it did, is a strong testament that one really attracts who they desire in life and above all, serendipity is the universe’s language to show us how we are all connected.”