The best Kimmel zingers from the opening monologue

AWARDS-OSCARS/SHOW Jimmy Kimmel hosting Oscars | Reuters

The second-time Oscar host Jimmy Kimmel (ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live!) opened the 2018 award ceremony with mentions of thorny issues like #MeToo movement and the Trump presidency. Though the mentions were clearly toned down, the delicious zingers were an indication of the ceremony to come. Here, we have a compiled a list of his best: 

1. Oscar is the most beloved and respected man in Hollywood. And there's a very good reason why. Look at him. He keeps his hands where you can see them. Never says a rude word. And most importantly, he has no penis. He is literally a statue of limitations.

2. Here's how clueless Hollywood is about women. We made a movie called What Women Want and it starred Mel Gibson.

3.  We don't make films like Call Me By Your Name for money. We make them to upset Mike Pence.

4. This year when you hear your name called, don't get up right away. Just give us a minute. We don't want another 'thing.'

5. Congratulations Guillermo del Toro. You made a beautiful movie and thanks to Guillermo we will always remember this year as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.

6. Black Panther has been so successful at the box office they're already saying it's the favorite to not get nominated for anything next year.

7. If the last two years have taught us anything, it's that reality can be... depressing. But tonight's nominated documentaries show us that where there is darkness, there is also hope. Except at the White House. Hope quit on Wednesday.

(Mic drop)