Dear girls, remember those moments when we spiral into late-night Google searches or endless Reddit threads trying to figure out why intercourse hurts, why inserting a tampon feels impossible, or why our body suddenly feels like it is “pushing everything away”? And most of the time, instead of answers, what follows is panic, shame, and the quiet fear that maybe something is “wrong” with us.
Conversations around women’s sexual health still remain deeply uncomfortable in many spaces, which is why conditions like vaginismus often go unnoticed, misunderstood, or dismissed for years. Pain during penetration is still normalised far too often, leaving many women silently dealing with anxiety, confusion, strained relationships, and fear around intimacy.
Remember the YouTube video by Vanika Sangtani that resonated with so many women online? In the video, Vanika also opened up about experiencing vaginismus. She described how even trying to insert fingers or tampons felt impossible, saying her vagina “became a monster and kept pushing me out.” She also spoke about feeling as though “there was something wrong with my anatomy and God did not like me” - a thought process many women silently relate to while struggling to put their pain into words.
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Research suggests that vaginismus may be more common than many realise. A 2024 observational study conducted among 160 married women aged 20–35 years in Belagavi, Karnataka, found that 28 per cent reported primary vaginismus while 30 per cent experienced secondary vaginismus. The study also noted that many women hesitate to seek medical help due to stigma, lack of awareness, and discomfort discussing sexual health concerns openly.
To understand what vaginismus actually is, why it happens, how women can identify the symptoms, and what treatment and recovery look like, we spoke to Dr Prathima A, Consultant - Obstetrics, Gynaecology, and Urogynaecology at Motherhood Hospitals, Banashankari, Bengaluru.
What is vaginismus?
According to Dr Prathima A, vaginismus is a condition in which the muscles around the vagina tighten automatically whenever penetration is attempted.
She explained that this tightening is an involuntary physical response and can make penetration painful, difficult, or sometimes completely impossible. The condition may affect sexual intercourse, tampon insertion, or even routine gynaecological examinations.
“It is important to understand that vaginismus is not something a woman does intentionally. It is an automatic protective reflex of the body,” Dr Prathima said. “In many cases, the body anticipates pain even before penetration occurs, causing the pelvic muscles to contract on their own.”
Why does it happen?
Dr Prathima noted that vaginismus is often linked to a combination of both physical and psychological factors. On the physical side, conditions such as urinary tract infections, yeast infections, endometriosis, childbirth-related trauma, or hormonal changes around menopause may contribute to pain and muscle tightening.
At the same time, emotional factors can also play a major role. Anxiety, stress, fear of pain, fear of pregnancy, previous traumatic experiences, relationship difficulties, or sexual abuse may all contribute to the condition.
“Sometimes the body develops a fear response toward penetration because it associates the experience with pain, discomfort, or anxiety,” she explained.
How do you know if you might have it?
According to Dr Prathima, one of the most common signs of vaginismus is experiencing a burning, stinging, tightening, or “ripping” sensation during penetration. Many women also describe the feeling as though there is an invisible wall preventing anything from entering the vagina.
She added that some women may struggle to insert tampons, while others experience severe discomfort or panic during pelvic examinations like Pap smears.
“In some cases, women are physically unable to tolerate penetration despite wanting to,” she said. “This can often leave them confused, distressed, or questioning their own bodies.”
Can vaginismus be treated?
Dr Prathima emphasised that vaginismus is treatable, although recovery may take time, patience, and a multidisciplinary approach involving both physical and psychological care.
Treatment often includes pelvic floor physiotherapy, where women gradually learn how to relax and regain control over the pelvic muscles. Vaginal dilators - smooth tube-shaped devices of different sizes - may also be used as part of therapy to slowly reduce fear and muscle tightening associated with penetration.
She also highlighted the importance of counselling and mental health support, especially in cases linked to anxiety, trauma, or fear surrounding intimacy. “Sex therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy can help women address the emotional aspects associated with the condition and rebuild comfort with their bodies,” she said.
Breaking the silence around women’s pain
Despite being relatively common, vaginismus still remains heavily stigmatised and underreported, Dr Prathima noted. Many women hesitate to seek help due to embarrassment, shame, or the belief that painful intercourse is simply something women are expected to tolerate.
“Pain during intercourse should never be dismissed as normal,” she said. “Vaginismus is a legitimate medical condition, and women should feel empowered to speak openly about it and seek treatment without fear or shame.”
She added that normalising conversations around pelvic pain and sexual health is essential to helping more women recognise the condition early and access proper medical support.
This story is done in collaboration with First Check, which is the health journalism vertical of DataLEADS