Oh, what a delicious mess we have got here in the summer of 2025! Donald Trump is back in the White House with his trademark orange tan and tariff tantrums, slaps a whopping 50 per cent duty on Indian imports because ‘Buddy Modi’ dared to sip on that sweet, sweet cheap Russian oil. It’s like Trump caught India cheating on America with Putin’s petro-pump, and now he is throwing an economic angry fit worth billions. But wait, plot twist! In a move that’s got geopolitical pundits choking on their chai, India and China are suddenly playing footsie under the table. Foreign Minister Wang Yi jets to New Delhi, handshakes all around, trade pacts inked, direct flights resuming—it’s like the Himalayan border skirmishes never happened. “Steady progress,” Modi beams, while Xi Jinping probably chuckles in Beijing, thinking, “Thanks, Trump, for the assist!”
Now, spare a thought for poor Pakistan, China’s self-proclaimed “Iron Brother.” For years, Islamabad has been the dragon’s loyal sidekick, basking in Belt and Road billions, CPEC corridors, and those ironclad hugs that make the rest of South Asia jealous. But with China cosying up to India—potentially even luring Modi into that Beijing-led free-trade club, the Regional Comprehensive Economic Partnership—Pakistan’s feeling like the forgotten ex at a wedding. “Et tu, Xi?” wails the Pakistani establishment, as visions of Gwadar Port turning into a ghost town flash before their eyes. Remember that nail-biting May 2025 flare-up between India and Pakistan? The one called Op Sindoor by India and Chaddi Banyan by Pakistan? China tangoed with Pakistan then, but now? If Beijing’s bromance with New Delhi deepens, Pakistan might find its “all-weather friend” suddenly checking the forecast elsewhere. Is the Dragon upset? Oh, honey, Dragons don’t get upset—they breathe fire! Expect Xi to politely remind Islamabad that friendships are flexible, especially when India’s market of 1.4 billion beckons louder than Pakistan’s perpetual bailout pleas.
Enter Asim Munir, Pakistan’s army chief extraordinaire and self-anointed Field Marshal, who is basically running the show while politicians play musical chairs. With US-India ties in the dumps—thanks to Trump’s tariffs over Russia’s crude—Washington’s suddenly rediscovering its old flame in Islamabad. Munir’s been zipping to the US, topping up his frequent-flier miles: chats with Joint Chiefs, a cozy White House lunch with Trump himself! It’s all about “strategic reawakening,” they say—code for America needing a counterweight to China’s growing cuddle with India. Pakistan’s dangling its mineral riches, anti-terror credentials, and that handy Afghan border access. Trump, ever the dealmaker, is lapping it up. “Pakistan’s in my good graces,” he might tweet, ignoring the irony that he’s pivoting to a country he once called a “terror haven.” Munir’s charm offensive? Strikingly successful, as per the Washington Post. But will this fling last? History says US-Pakistan romances are like bad Bollywood remakes: passionate, then poof—gone when the aid runs dry.
And the Dragon? China’s already rolling over those $2 billion loans to Pakistan, but whispers from Beijing suggest mild annoyance. “Ironclad friends,” sure, but if Munir gets too chummy with Uncle Sam, expect subtle squeezes—delayed CPEC projects, perhaps, or a stern op-ed in People’s Daily about “external influences.” Xi’s not one for jealousy; he’s pragmatic. If Pakistan plays both sides, fine—as long as the dragon gets the bigger slice of the pie. But a full US tilt? That could spark some fiery editorials about “betrayal” in Sino-Pak ties.
As for Trump? He’s probably popping champagne at Mar-a-Lago, thinking he’s the ultimate puppet master. “I pushed India to China? Fake news! It’s all part of the art of the deal!” he’d bellow. But deep down, even The Donald must feel a twinge—his tariffs meant to “Make America Great” might just make China greater, with India as the new BFF. Pakistan, meanwhile, navigates this love quadrangle like a rickshaw in Lahore traffic: dodging potholes, honking for attention, and praying no one crashes the party.
In this tariff-fueled farce, Pakistan is the comic relief—‘iron brother’ turned awkward third wheel, courting the ex while the dragon flirts anew. Will Munir’s US dalliance pay off, or will Xi’s upset scorch the ties? Stay tuned; South Asia’s soap opera is just heating up.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of THE WEEK.