Voices that matter

We The Women created conversations about many problems

28-bharkha-dutt Fighting lookism: (Left to right) Barkha Dutt with model Seema Hari, actors Ratna Pathak Shah and Sai Pallavi, and model Varshita Thatavarthi | Bhanu prakash chandra

Relevant conversations act as a catalyst for change. And all that these conversations need is a context. That is exactly what We The Women, a conclave curated by senior journalist Barkha Dutt, provides. In its second session in Bengaluru on November 3, achievers from different walks of life took the gathering through their unique battles and journeys.

Sprinter Dutee Chand, 23, had to fight poverty—the family of nine lived in a small room and occasionally cooked vegetables picked off the street—and, later, a gender test to detect hyperandrogenism (high levels of testosterone). “I did not know about the gender test, I thought it was a routine dope test,” she said. “I read about it in Odia newspapers. They said I was not a girl. I was shocked.” In 2014, Dutee appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport; she got a favourable verdict after two years. Dutee has come out as homosexual and that posed a challenge, too. Even her family was hostile. But she has carved out her own space and identity.

For many others like Dutee, who have been persecuted for their sexual orientation, Aruna Desai, from Mumbai, has been a pillar of support. Aruna knew little about homosexuality until her son Abhishek and his friend told her about a friend who had been thrown out of the house because he was gay. They told her that he was alone on the streets. Aruna was moved and started to learn about homosexuality. So, when Abhishek came out as homosexual, she was ready for it. (The story about the friend was imaginary; her son was preparing her for the news.) “I floated the parent support group Sweekar in 2016 and have 70 members today,” said Aruna. “They counsel children and parents.”

Despite efforts such as Aruna’s, the LGBTQ community still leads a difficult life. It is in this light that transgender activist Akkai Padmashali’s personal life is all the more relevant. She redefined the institution of family by marrying the man of her choice and adopting a child, both of which seemed impossible a few years back. “The social constructs and the gender specific roles are ingrained in your psyche,” she said. “But I believe that nobody has the right to define your gender or sexuality.”

Actor Sara Ali Khan | Bhanu Prakash Chandra Actor Sara Ali Khan | Bhanu Prakash Chandra

One year after the #MeToo storm, not much has changed. Toxic trolling, victim-blaming and slut-shaming continue. So does sexual harassment. Recently, Angela Mondal, 20, a theatre student, alleged sexual harassment by her teacher. “I was sexually abused by my professor on the pretext of teaching me how to act,” she said. “He took me home one day saying I had no emotional truth in my acting. It took me three months to lodge an FIR as my ego would not permit me to believe I was exploited.”

Actor Shruti Hariharan, journalist Sandhya Menon and singer Chinmayi Sripada who spoke out against powerful men said it had affected their careers. But they asserted that the battle, while long and weary, is worthwhile. “While I strongly advise girls to speak out, they should be prepared for disbelief,” said Chinmayi. “There were a few like Vetri Maaran sir, who dared to offer me work. The small change today is people give you the benefit of the doubt and do not dismiss it as a story.” Shruti regrets having spoken out. “I coped with no work, slut-shaming and online abuse,” she said. “But what hurt the most was people dismissing me as a MeToo-girl, discrediting all my hard work as an actor.” She added that women need heavyweight lawyers in such cases. Said Chinmayi: “Your case is as good as your lawyer. The law is not effective and there is no judgment for want of evidence. The lawmakers are supporting rapists and molesters.”

The palpable despair vanishes when a frail woman in a ghunghat (veil) arrives on stage. Bhanwari Devi, a social worker from Rajasthan and a gang-rape survivor, has kept at her legal battle for 27 years. The state High Court’s acquittal of the accused became a rallying call for India’s women’s rights movement. It also led to the Vishaka Guidelines. Devi continues to inspire women to fight back. “I worked as a volunteer for a government-run programme to eradicate child marriage,” said Bhanwari Devi. “I tried to stop the marriage of a nine-month-old. For that I was gang-raped by five men. It has been a long battle. But I will not stop at anything but justice.” Four of the five accused are dead, but she wants the fight to continue even after her death. She added: “Harden your hearts. It is not the time to cry. You must fight back.”

The malice of child marriage continues to this day, despite the courage of women like Devi who tried to stop it. Payal Jangid, 17, also from Rajasthan, fought against her own marriage at 11. Today, she goes around asking mothers to educate their daughters and not give them away as child brides. “They tell me that I am free to become a collector, but their girls are better off being married,” she said. “I am hopeful of change and that one day children will not know that something like child marriage ever existed.”

Musician Subbalaxmi | Bhanu Prakash Chandra Musician Subbalaxmi | Bhanu Prakash Chandra

Making inroads into male-dominated sectors, women are debunking myths and setting new rules as leaders. Zainab Bawa, Saranya Gopinath, Sudha Srinivasan and Anita Nair, leaders from the tech industry, said that there were fewer women in leadership roles because of the lack of appreciation for feminine leadership traits, as male aggression is the popular leadership template. Anita added that the disproportionate share of domestic burden is a major factor for women losing out in their careers. Zainab said that women tend to be silent performers and added that self promotion is a necessity today.

Women are also making a mark as entrepreneurs. Jyothi Reddy from Warangal, who grew up in an orphanage and worked as a daily-wager, is now the CEO of a US-based company. “I was married at 16, and a mother of two by 18,” she said. “I attempted suicide, but survived. I worked in the paddy fields for Rs5 a day. I moved to the town to teach in an adult literacy programme and stitched petticoats for a living. A chance meeting with a relative settled in the US inspired me to pursue further studies and relocate there. My company [Key Software Solutions] now has a turnover of $18 million.” Chinu Kala, who left home at 15, worked in sales, and as a waitress and cleaner in a restaurant before she set up her jewellery shop with seed money of Rs3 lakh. “Today my brand, Rubans, is one of the fastest growing brands in the online market,” she said. “Our turnover is Rs7 crore. Myntra is investing in my business.”

For Kiran Majumdar-Shaw, who ventured out to set up a biotech company when no one really understood intellectual property or technology, it was her perseverance and aggression that paid off. The chairperson and managing director of Biocon said that she had been made to feel inferior for being a woman. “I took the biggest risk, invested in an R&D-based business,” said Kiran. “Yet the rhetoric is that men are more aggressive and bigger risk-takers.”

Talking about the Indian obsession for fair skin, model Seema Hari said that she was mocked in India for being dark. “But when I landed in the US for my studies, they signed me up for modelling assignments for my skin tone,” she said. “I was the same person. But the perspective towards me had changed. It is time we challenge this colour bias.” Seema proudly wears a badge with the word kaali (dark one) on it.

Actor Sai Pallavi said she refused to endorse a fairness cream as she did not want to endorse a certain idea and standard of beauty. Actor Sara Ali Khan, talking about the time when she was “overweight”, said that the pressure to look a certain way can affect confidence and that you can shield yourself from negativity by not worrying about what others say.

Revolt finds expression in art. Nupur Saraswat, 24, found comfort in slam poetry. A realisation dawned on her the day she was kicked out of a hotel in Hyderabad for being a solo woman traveller. “It was traumatic and it made me conscious of the spaces that existed around me,” she said. Nupur’s poems like ‘Ask us how we are getting home’ are in the face and paints the dark reality that every woman faces. Music, like poetry, transcends many barriers. In her performance at the beginning of the event, musician Subbalaxmi gave her answer to sexism. A disciple of the late Kadri Gopalnath, Subbalaxmi’s experiments with the saxophone—a “male-only” instrument—blocked out, if only temporarily, the cacophony of patriarchy. 

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