As fuel prices shoot through the ceiling, many people are pointing fingers at the authorities. The government is doing nothing they say, except of course building the Central Vista Project and thinking of clever ways to get even with Mamata Bannerjee. But all this is ignorance talking. Actually, the serial hikes in the prices of petrol and diesel (Bhopal, Jaipur, Mumbai, Hyderabad and Bengaluru are all members of the Rs 100 per litre club – and Patna will soon join) are part of a well-thought-out strategy devised by a group of experts. This think tank focused on the fuel tank and concluded that there is a lot that the country will gain by making private transport unaffordable except for Mr. Ambani and Mr. Adani.
The three-figure price tag is a powerful inducement to stay at home. We all know what happened the last time around. The lifting of lockdown got people dashing around like a football star celebrating a Euro 2020 goal. We on our part had hailed our new found freedom by setting off on aimless drives and visiting distant relatives we wouldn’t have bothered about in normal circumstances. In short, we created fertile conditions for the second wave.
This time, the government is wiser. They have realized that beyond a point, slogans (‘Do gaz doori hai zaroori’), announcements on TV and radio and solemn Man ki Baats begin yielding diminishing returns. Instead, all they need to do is to make driving cars and riding two-wheelers seem like a decadent luxury. Before you can say ‘Go’, the most restless traveler will automatically get converted to a dedicated home body. Moral of the story: the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, as earlier suspected, but through his pocket.
Critics say that by making private transport expensive, the government is forcing people to opt for buses. This again is an unjust allegation. Soon, when fuel prices begin scraping low hanging clouds, it is sure to impact bus tickets and cab fares. Even a bus ride will then seem like an extravagance you would rather do without.
We Indians are undoubtedly a brainy lot. Silicon Valley is congested with Indians and we are make excellent CEOs of IT giants. But alas we don’t exercise mind or muscle unless we are compelled to do it and see no alternative. That is why the country still lags in the use of electric vehicles. It is a vicious circle: because the infrastructure doesn’t exist, people are not ready to switch, and that makes automobile manufacturers hesitant. But just wait till fuel prices go up a little further, and you will see new solutions emerging from our brood of smart scientists.
There is another benefit coming our way. When both car and bus seem unaffordable, you and I will naturally take out our well-worn shoes or sandals and begin to walk. I don’t need to tell you about the therapeutic qualities of walking, viz., keeping waistlines in check, stablising blood pressure and reducing mental tensions caused by the rising prices. But wait, before you set off on a brisk walk, here are more solutions from the think tank that will make even walking redundant.
We all know of the spiritual guru who speaks with a rich baritone as well as a strong, compelling accent, and has talked himself into omniscience. He broke the news that it is possible to substitute petrol with soul and move motors with a mantra. All you need to do is, as specified above, to speak with a rich baritone and a compelling accent. Watch this space.
Then there is the high profile Yoga teacher who was recently given some bitter medicine by allopathic doctors. He has returned to the scene to remind us that our ancients did not wait for car, bus or rickshaw to get from Point A in the Himalayas to Point B in Vrindavan. They simply levitated, and we can do the same – once the baba shows us the moves.
Now, folks don’t expect instant results or a cent per cent success ratio. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, it is possible to fuel some of the people all the time, and all the people some of the time but it is impossible to fuel all the people all the time.
The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author’s and do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of THE WEEK.
