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Mathew T George
Mathew T George


Go on, masturdate!

  • masturdating
    Masturdating is being suggested as the new word that defines someone doing something alone

The Sicilians say that every good Mafiosi has three guns. One would be with the police, one under his pillow at home and the third would be wrapped tight in a plastic sheet and buried under a tree in the woods. Isn’t that true of every man/woman? One has a public identity, a different identity on social media and a third identity that is kept under wraps. Who are you when you masturdate?

Loneliness is popularly seen as a phenomenon on the rise in the pose-retirement generation. Increasing cases of depression among Indian youth show that the young are no less vulnerable to loneliness. Who thought Deepika Padukone could be depressed? Didn’t you think she had everything going for her? So did I.

Masturdating is being suggested as the new word that defines someone doing something alone, because s/he prefers doing it alone. Going out for a movie alone. Having a meal alone. Not because someone stood you up or because you do not have friends, but because you want it to be so. Spending time with oneself seems almost like a mystic concept, eh?

Youth in India are increasingly on the move, mostly for education and for employment. Added to the stress of a new environment is the stress of managing long-distance relationships—with parents, lover or spouse. Most more than often, people in such circumstances yearn for a friend. Most more than often the friend would not be there. Sometimes, a friend becomes more than a friend, upsetting the equation in the long-distance relationship. To avoid such a situation, young India is increasingly turning to masturdating and bromances.

Do you think masturdating is the way out:<br> a) When you are fresh out of a break-up.<br> b) When you have relocated to a new city and are feeling lonesome.<br> c) To get some peace and quiet and be oneself.<br> d) All of the above.<br>

If you don’t agree to any of these, there is e) Matt, go take a hike. Masturdating is just another senseless fad.

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Topics : #language | #opinion

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